Contributing Writer: Renee Simpson
If you are old enough to tie your own shoes, by now you know about the infamous, ridiculous Shovel Girl Fight.
The throw down was between Miranda Fugate, aka “Shovel Girl,” and an older woman, fifteen year old Emily Powers. The fight highlight: Miranda got hard clocked in the head with a shovel.
Two years prior to the Shovel Showdown, Miranda, then twelve, claims to have been innocently walking down a dirt road somewhere in the backwoods where she lives, when a young man stopped her to ask a favor. He wanted Miranda to call Emily, then thirteen, who was allegedly “stalking” him. Miranda told Emily to step off and alleges that Emily then stalked her, on facebook.
Then, on the fateful afternoon of May 3rd, Miranda was hanging out with a friend when she realized Emily was her friend’s neighbor. Miranda couldn’t pass on the lucky chance, and just had to go over to Emily’s lawn to beef with her.
The full video starts with Emily giving Miranda and her friends a tour of her family’s chicken coop. I had one fight in my life, when I too was fifteen years old. It started outside of a pizzeria on a street corner in New York City. That fight feels so much less funny now, because pizzerias are a lot less ridiculous than chicken coops, in general.
Here’s a verbal vine of how it then played out – Miranda laid out the fight rules – Miranda intermittently punched and karate kicked Emily – Emily countenanced every blow like she had a skeletal system made of steel – Emily eventually threatened to shoot Miranda with a BB Gun – Miranda wouldn’t let up – Emily went totally Bad Ass Bitch of the Century and javelin threw a shovel at Miranda’s silly head – the video went viral and Miranda Fugate became an internet sensation.
This is depressing. When Life is depressing, I work a little harder to expand my consciousness and ask the Universe, what would you have me learn from this pathetic theater of ego and ignorance that we call Reality?
In the days leading up to the Shovel Fight, I had been deep in a lecture by self-professed “Spirit Junkie” and motivational guru Gabrielle Bernstein.
In Gabrielle’s lecture, I was made aware of an important insight for Humanity: She is Me. But what does that mean? From the standpoint of the philosophy that We Are All One, “She is Me” is a way to remind ourselves – like when we want to beat someone’s ass – that the person is really the same as ourselves. Humanity is the recognition of our Oneness.
If you have any doubts, consider this – when Miranda got clocked in her head with that shovel, didn’t you sorta feel like an invisible version smashed into your head? In addition to the outpouring of laughs, there was also a lot of concern for Miranda’s well being. Although the fight itself is the center of attention, I choose to pay attention to the Humanity between the blows. My guess is that she and Emily will actually be really good friends one day, like me and the girl I fought outside the pizzeria when I was 15, and dumb.
Have a Wicked Time (preferably without a shovel) and remember to…